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What should have been a romantic rendezvous turned into a felony charge for one Florida man this week. Said planned rendezvous also involved using a front-end loader and an entire bucket of dirt, and the man’s seeming inability to accept no for an answer.

According to the police affidavit obtained by The Smoking Gun, 20-year-old Hunter Mills has been charged with criminal mischief, which is a felony, in relation to the incident that saw him dump dirt on a woman’s car, with her inside. The estimated damages caused to the car, a 2010 Cadillac, total $8,000 and Mills is on the hook for that, too.

The good news is that the woman wasn’t hurt, even though she had the windows open when Mills dumped the dirt on the vehicle. Her relationship with him is not explained in the police affidavit, which does mention that she had agreed to meet him on a road adjacent to an excavation firm.

When she showed up at the wheel of the Cadillac, which wasn’t personal property, Mills approached her in the front-end loader, with the bucket filled with dirt. She “refused to answer a question,” and Mills went ahead with what he had probably planned in advance.

“The defendant dumped the dirt on the driver side half of the vehicle, causing scratches to the top, hood, and trunk,” the police report reads. “The window was down during the incident, which caused dirt to fill up the air vents, center console, and power windows.”

The owner of the car showed up some time after the incident and told the cops that damage was somewhere around $8K. Mills, for his part, tried to talk his way out of the predicament, telling the officers that he had dumped the bucket of dirt “in an attempt to get [the woman] to leave him alone.”

He was arrested, charged and released on a $1,000 bond the next day.
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