Two cows........ - Mercedes Benz SLK Forum

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#1 Old 03-19-2007
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Two cows........

You have 2 cows.................

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on
the income.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to
analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to
your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred
via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the
majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with
an option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the
release. The public buys your bull.
THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a
riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called cowkimon and market it
worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking
them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them
that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb you and then invade
your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy....
WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
attractive.
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#2 Old 03-19-2007
 
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WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
attractive.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA made me laugh very hard! I HAVE A WELSH FRIEND A REGULARLY SLAG HIM OFF ABOUT SHEEP AND COWS.
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#3 Old 03-19-2007
 
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Don't slam sheep til you have dated one. Some of my fondest memories are of being on Grand Dads farm as a kid. You learn fast the difference between a ram and a ewe. I am trying to cipher where I am in the list above. When I figure it out, I'll let you know. (That will be another post, get them numbers
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#4 Old 03-19-2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 412driver View Post
Don't slam sheep til you have dated one. Some of my fondest memories are of being on Grand Dads farm as a kid. You learn fast the difference between a ram and a ewe. I am trying to cipher where I am in the list above. When I figure it out, I'll let you know. (That will be another post, get them numbers

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#5 Old 03-19-2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 412driver View Post
Don't slam sheep til you have dated one. Some of my fondest memories are of being on Grand Dads farm as a kid. You learn fast the difference between a ram and a ewe. I am trying to cipher where I am in the list above. When I figure it out, I'll let you know. (That will be another post, get them numbers
There is such a thing as too much information . . .
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#6 Old 03-19-2007
 
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Good for a laugh anyway. I like the little sheep V8SLK, that is neat.
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#7 Old 03-22-2007
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ewwwwwwwwwwww (not ewe)!
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#8 Old 03-22-2007
 
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Who be booo? do it be ewe? Of all the animals in the world, Id rather be a duck. So I can fly along the beach and watch the people, holdin hands. Get your mind out of the gutter, this is a clean forum. Laugh and have a guuuud time. Enjoy the short time we have here
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#9 Old 03-23-2007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vin View Post
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AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH me.
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#10 Old 03-23-2007
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"A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a
riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows".

LOL now thats funny and very gready.

06 SLK55 AMG (Kleemann K2)
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#11 Old 03-23-2007
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hahahahah they were all pretty funny..

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06' SLK 350, Iridium/Ash all pkgs. 6-spd, 19" DCR. (Gone but not forgotten)


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