Spirit of Mutley is alive and well. - Mercedes Benz SLK Forum

Driving Stories Politically correct way of saying Kill stories

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#1 Old 09-24-2016
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(Thread Starter)
Spirit of Mutley is alive and well.

This will cause Jeff some issues moving it.
Not a kill story in the usual sense but much more abstract.

Left work and turned right at lights onto a two mile straight.
Nipped up to 60 but noticed a pair of baboons in an *outhouse.
I knew the ending (at least, I thought I knew the ending) but decided to play anyway.
Roads empty bar the two cars we were in.

So, he's closing in fast but as I disappear from view over a small rise
I give the 55 a quick blip and ease back down to cruise.

He's obviously surprised how big the gap has got and decides to close it slowly.
He's thinking that he'll do me at the next lights by letting me get there first,
triggering the lights and allowing him to go full tilt as I start to accelerate.
Then he'll jump back into my lane and cut me up 50 yards up the road.

As I drop out of view again, over the rise just before the lights I decided to make him
have to pull alongside me at the lights by lifting off completely and get him alongside at a standstill.

Almost worked perfect.
Saw him in the mirror, closing fast.
I knew he'd have to stop, or bust a red light.

HE DIDN'T!!

Not until the very last second.

He's obviously done it before,
knew his timings well.

But he'd never been played before.

He slammed on at the last second.
Tyres screeching.
Smoke in the air,
and his car slewing to one side. (~ 15-20 degree angle)
Passenger nearly head butted the dash.
Bricks it and gives me the look.

This look being like a surprised child who just walked into the door
and hoped nobody noticed.
The driver was just glaring at the lights
(probably thinking that the timing of them has been lengthened).

I wasn't looking directly at them.
As they hadn't busted the lights AND nobody was hurt
I was far too busy doing my best impression of Mutley.



Lights change at that very moment and...

That amber warning triangle can stay on for an awfully long time.
Much longer than I expected anyway.
Ahem. Cough.

He tried to floor it and catch up,
but all I saw was an ever smaller dot in the mirror.

The car? Not worthy of a kill.
Ten a penny around here.

The baboons inside, not really worthy of a kill
Other than they have clearly done it many times before,
didn't realise after I made the gap the first time that they were not in the hunt.

But a chance of entertainment on an empty road...

PRICELESS!

(Had they gone through the red light there was nothing else around
& no harm would have been done.)

Had they binned it?
Well Darwin was a scientist and I like him.
Their choice.





*Outhouse.
An outhouse was originally a toilet, away from the house in a small shed.
an S. shed is what we Brits call a cheap, small car driven by a 20 something
that's been 'souped' up.
Often, the souping up is nothing more than an empty can of soup, polished
and strapped to the end of an exhaust that has a blown silencer (muffler).

Myk
(Moderator/Ride of the Month Coordinator)


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