alroumi

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The topic is easy straightforward and might end up enjoyable comparing the top gear some say quotes between each other.

Here is the one I've got to add:

Some say:

Inside his head is a black hole so strong it creates its own magnetic field. Some say he was planted in the soils of the nurburgring.

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alroumi

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Some say he removed the intestines of a camel just to get a faster laptime by the oasis.

Some say he was dimwitted but gained cautious when he hit a light pole on driving 101.

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alroumi

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Some say he is so eco friendly he is biodegradable which is worse than a Lada made from cardboard.

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I use the Torque and keep the HP for my Steak Sauce!

Twisted

Some say when he swims he paddle shifts

Some say the very ribs of his forefathers were used as suspensions joints todays F1 cars...

(it's been a while so excuse the remarks, can't wait for Season 11 starting shortly though)

alroumi

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Some say season 11 wont happen due to the endless disputes of the Stig with the track ( airing on 22nd ).

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alroumi

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Adding clarksons quotes to the mix:

I dont think it will top the British version which has been there since 1977, the jokes and the show is setup in a way were even non automotive enthusiasts could enjoy the show.

Here are some quotes,

"This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying "Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases."

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster - 'It couldn't pull a greased stick out of a pig's bottom'

"I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you've got even half a scrotum it's not going to happen."

"We start tonight with the highlight of my childhood. It's the Ladybird Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it's full of rubbish really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was like kind of Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning jet fighter. And lots of jelly."

About the Porsche Cayman S: "There are many things I'd rather be doing than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean."

..."the last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying there will be no war with Germany"

"America: 250 million w****rs living in a country with no word for w****r"

On the Alfa Romeo Brera... "I only have to imagine this in black, with tan leather and I'm nursing a semi!"

Clarkson on the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car: it begins with "s" and ends with "t" and its not "soot".
Hammond: "So its fairly terrible then?"
Clarkson:"Oh no...losing your leg is fairly terrible: this is another league of badness!"

"some say, that he used to throw microwave ovens at homeless people - and that he long before anyone else realised that Jade Goody is a racist pig faced waste of blood and organs............all we know, is that he's called the Stig!"

"the Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite"

"Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary... That's what gets you."

'The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw'

"Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?"

"The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertible was Adolf Hitler"

(Fed up during the caravanning trip): "You aren't allowed to have a party, you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games, you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!"

(Mercedes CLs55): "Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss."

"I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?"

Clarksons highway code on cyclists: 'trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong'

"I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a car', and drove off.' What I actually said was, 'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i."

"Britain's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe...probably because they don't have wheel-chair access"

"Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show......so we'll kick off tonight with the cheapest Ferrari of them all!"

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire French Air Force crashing into a firework factory."

"Now as you can see I lost the battle to have two engines on the back because of three very important reasons. One: weight. This is 600 Lbs and that's the same as having a whole American sitting on the tailgate..."

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

"the DB9 has rear seats but no mammal yet created, not even when God was on the LSD trip that gave us the pink flamingo, could fit into them."

Assessing Hammond's crash:
Clarkson: "you can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come apart. Now why didn't you spot that?!"
Hammond: "I had a lot on: I was doing 288 mph."
Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me, wife etc, but if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

"Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved...for a murderer."

"I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animals duty to be on my plate at supper time"

"There are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of stitching... on their face"

"Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close up of some bloke's sweaty face."

"Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it, if you like, as a librarian with a G-string under the tweed. I do, and it helps."

"you can't have this car with a diesel, its like saying, I wont go to stringfellows tonight, I'll get my mum to give me a lapdance, she's a woman!"

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports car... in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a President.

Jeremy said this of the Porsche Cayenne! "Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis

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DansSlk

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From my Stig T-Shirt's -

Some say if he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci code in 43 seconds.

Some say his left nipple is almost exactly the same shape as the Nurburgring.

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alroumi

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Some say he colours with mustard assuming its a future product of yellow crayon.

Some say he is so brave that he blew Chuck Norris with a fart.

Some say that he was the 300 in the team of Leonidas.

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06 Kleemann Designo Mocha Black SLK55 AMG
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I use the Torque and keep the HP for my Steak Sauce!

alroumi

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Some say he chews flashed ecu's for breakfast and nitrous kits for lunch. Some say he changes his processors twice a day.

Some say he has a facebook account and is interested in men, some say he has joined every topgear and stig group just to add more numbers to the tally.

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06 Kleemann Designo Mocha Black SLK55 AMG
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I use the Torque and keep the HP for my Steak Sauce!

Twisted

Here's some more (i know we were supposed to make our own but just for laughs)

Some say His first name really is "The".

Some say He drinks a lot of petrol.

Some say He was born in space.

Some say He never blinks.

Some say He roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves.

Some say He sleeps upside down like a bat.

Some say His sweat can be used to clean precious metals.

Some say He does not see like humans do, instead he sees numbers in green scrolling down.

Some say He is scared of bells.

Some say He once punched a horse to the ground.

Some say He is illegal in 17 U.S. states.

Some say His heart ticks like a watch.

Some say All his legs are hydraulic.

Some say He can "accumbularate".

Some say He appears on Japanese banknotes.

Some say There's an airport in Russia named after him.

Some say His breath smells of magnesium.

Some say His tears are adhesive.

Some say He urinates 98 RON petrol.

Some say He can smell corners.

Some say He has acid for blood.

Some say Jimmy Carter wants him dead.

Some say He has a bionic arm.

Some say He has a tattoo of Buzz Aldrin on his thigh.

Some say He is stumped by clouds.

Some say He has no fear.

Some say His ears aren't exactly where you would expect them to be.

Some say He once, "preposterously", had an affair with John Prescott.

Some say He has a digital face.

Some say If he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar.

Some say He has named every single blade of grass surrounding the Top Gear test track.

Some say His genitals are on upside down.

Some say His ears have a paisley lining.

Some say He is banned from the Chelsea Flower Show.

Some say The outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburgring.

Some say If given an important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet.

Some say He invented Branston Pickle.

Some say On really warm days he sheds his skin, like a snake.

Some say For some reason he's allergic to the Dutch.

Some say If he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant - including the cameramen.

Some say He once threw a microwave oven at a tramp.

Some say Long before anyone else, he realized that Jay Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs.

Some say He once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner.

Some say He was in no way implicated in the cash for honours scandal.

Some say If you lick his chest it tastes exactly the same as picalilly.

Some say At this week's Brit Awards, he was arrested for goosing Russell Brand.

Some say He sucks the moisture from ducks.

Some say His crash helmet is modeled after Britney Spears' head.

Some say He isn't machine washable.

Some say All his potted plants are called Steve.

Some say His scrotum has its own small gravity field.

Some say Because our producer rigged a phone vote, he now has a new name...all we know is, he's called Cuddles.

Some say He's banned from the town of Chichester.

Some say In a recent late night deal he bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh.

Some say He gets terrible ezcema on his helmet.

Some say If he'd been the video ref in the World Cup Rugby Final he would've seen that it was of course a try you blind Australian half-wit.

Some say To unlock him you have to run your finger down his face.

Some say If he were getting divorced from Paul McCartney he'd keep his stupid whining mouth shut.

Some say He thought Star Wars was a documentry.

Some say He recently pulled out of I'm a Celebrity because he's frightened of trees....and Australia...Koo Stark...and Ant...and Dec...

Some say He knows two facts about ducks, and both of them are wrong.

Some say 61 years ago he accidently introduced Her Majesty, the Queen, to a Greek racialist.

Some say When he slows down, brake lights come on in his buttocks.

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Some say when he passes gas, it sounds like the SLK55 at acceleration.

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alroumi

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nice one, thank you for sharing.

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06 Kleemann Designo Mocha Black SLK55 AMG
06 Porsche Cayenne S
07 Jaguar XKR Coupe'

I use the Torque and keep the HP for my Steak Sauce!